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Leadership Insights
The performance conversation model from Monday works reasonably well when you have positional authority over the person you need to address. But it gets more complicated when you don’t. When the friction takes place with a peer who controls resources you need, or with a supervisor whose direction you think is wrong, or with a faculty colleague whose buy-in you can’t mandate, the same directness that works downward can feel like overreach.
It isn’t. But it does require a different approach.
The core challenge of lateral and upward candor is that you’re trying to influence without authority. You can’t assign consequences. You can’t make a unilateral decision about the relationship. You have to tell the truth about what you see in a way in which the other person can receive it, and that means attending carefully to how you frame what you’re saying.
Kim Scott’s concept of radical candor offers a useful compass here. Scott describes the failure modes as two variations: As ruinous empathy (in which you care enough about the person to stay quiet, even when your silence is costing the team) and as obnoxious aggression (you challenge directly but without sufficient care for the person’s dignity). The goal is to do both: to care personally and to challenge directly, at the same time.
In higher education, this plays out in specific ways. The department Chair who sees a Dean making a budget decision that will crater faculty morale but says nothing because, “It’s not my call.” Or there’s the advancement director who knows a campaign strategy is out of alignment with donor relationships but stays quiet in the leadership meeting. Or the senior faculty member who watches a policy fail—but who won’t say so publicly because it belongs to a colleague they respect.
Three moves that make lateral and upward candor more likely to land:
- Name your perspective as your perspective. “I want to share what I’m observing from where I sit,” is a much less threatening opening than, “Here’s what’s actually happening.” You’re not claiming omniscience. You’re contributing your vantage point.
- Ask before you tell. “Can I share a concern about how this might land with the team?” opens more doors than, “I think this is going to be a problem.” The question signals that you’re in a collaborative stance, not an adversarial one.
- Stay anchored to shared stakes. The most effective upward and lateral candor is rooted in something both parties care about: the department’s reputation, a student outcome, the health of a long-term donor relationship. When you anchor your candor to shared stakes rather than personal preference, it becomes much harder for the other person to dismiss.
The Five Paths to Leadership® framework is useful here. Leaders operating from the Sage path tend to hold back in lateral and upward conversations because they prioritize harmony and relationship continuity. If that resonates with you, notice whether your silence is actually protecting the relationship or just protecting you from discomfort.
Practice with Sophia
Try this Sophia prompt before a conversation where you need to push back on a peer or supervisor: “I need to share a concern with my Dean about a staffing decision I think will backfire. Help me to find an approach that is direct and honest without putting them on the defensive. Here’s the situation: [describe it].”
Pause & Reflect
Who in your professional life do you hold back with, and why? Is the reason about their capacity to receive feedback, or about your own discomfort with conflict? What would you say if you knew the relationship could hold it?
Candor Is More Effective When You Have the Influence to Back It Up
Knowing what to say is only part of the challenge. The leaders who navigate lateral and upward conversations most effectively have done the longer work of building credibility, expanding influence, and understanding how power actually moves on their campus. That’s the work this workshop is designed for.
Driving Institutional Strategy as a Chief Strategist or Chief of Staff
July 27–28, 2026 | Denver, CO
Designed for Chiefs of Staff and Chief Strategy Officers in higher ed, this hands-on workshop focuses on the skills that make candor and influence possible at the senior level: facilitating alignment across leadership teams, strengthening communication with stakeholders at every level, and supporting decision-making in environments where authority is shared and relationships are everything.