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Leadership Insights
Internal coaching is the practice of stepping into a curious, supportive observer role with yourself—essentially, becoming your own coach rather than your own critic.
At its core, it’s about developing the ability to pause and ask yourself the kinds of thoughtful, non-judgmental questions that a skilled coach would ask. Instead of getting caught in reactive thinking or harsh self-criticism, you learn to create internal space for reflection and growth.
Here’s one way to practice building your internal coach:
Structured self-inquiry: You develop a toolkit of questions and frameworks to guide yourself through challenges—like the “What am I avoiding?” question, or like using your Five Paths profile to understand your reactions and choose different approaches.
The goal isn’t to replace external coaching or support, but to develop the capacity to guide yourself through day-to-day challenges and growth opportunities with the same wisdom and care you’d offer someone you’re mentoring. And as you develop your internal coach, you’ll naturally become better at coaching and developing others too—a core leadership skill.
Start by Asking
Here’s one simple practice you can start today:
The “What would I tell a colleague?” Technique
When you’re facing a challenge or feeling stuck, pause and ask yourself: “If a colleague came to me with this exact situation, what would I tell them?”
This works because it instantly creates psychological distance—you shift from being inside the problem to being outside it, looking at it with the same clarity and compassion you’d naturally offer to someone else. You bypass your own self-criticism and access your wisdom.
For example, if you’re frustrated about the lack of advancement opportunities, instead of spiraling into “This is hopeless” or “I’m not good enough,” you’d ask: “What would I tell a colleague who felt stuck in a role with no formal leadership opportunities?” You’d probably give them practical, encouraging advice about building influence, developing skills, and reframing the situation—exactly what you need to hear.
The beauty of this technique is that you already have coaching skills—you use them with others all the time. This just redirects that capacity back toward yourself.
Try it once today with whatever challenge is most present for you. You’ll be surprised at how quickly you can access a helpful perspective when you approach your own situation as if you’re helping someone else.
And if you want to continue to build your coaching skills, consider enrolling in the next cohort of the Advanced Supervision Certificate Program. This members-only program focuses in part on your role as a coaching supervisor.