The Signals You’re Sending

Step 1 of 5

Interpersonal · Module 2.1

The Signals You’re Sending

Most leaders do not undermine a change loudly. They do it in small verbal and relational tells that feel like honesty in the moment and read as permission to their team.

1

Notice the tell

Picture a workload policy that changes how faculty are compensated for overload or summer teaching, streamlined to control costs, and landing harder on some schools than others. You are leading one of the schools hit hardest, and you say to your team:

“I know this isn’t ideal. Honestly, I pushed back on this and lost, but the provost is making us do it.”

That sentence feels like honesty. It is also a signal, one that tells your team you are not really behind this.

2

Why it erodes trust

The moment you say “the provost made this call,” you stop owning the decision as your own. You are no longer a member of the leadership team implementing a change. You are a bystander reporting someone else’s choice, and painting that person as the source of something unwelcome.

A Five Paths connection

This often shows up in the shadow of the sage, when you feel like you cannot influence the outcome, so you quietly put distance between yourself and the decision instead.

That distance is what erodes trust, not the disagreement itself. Leaders are allowed to have reservations. What erodes trust is deflecting ownership instead of carrying it.

3

Think of a time you saw this happen

Not your own leadership yet, just someone you have watched do this. A leader who distanced themselves from a decision they were responsible for carrying out.

What did they say, and how did it change how much you trusted them?

Capture your answer in your own notes.

4

Turn it around

Now think about a change you are currently leading that you have some real reservations about.

What is the phrase or habit you are most likely to lean on to put distance between yourself and the decision?

Capture your answer in your own notes.

5

Practice reframing it

Here is a common version of the tell:

“The provost is making us do this. I don’t love it, but what can you do.”

Before revealing an alternative, consider what this line signals about who is actually responsible for the decision in the room.

Optional · pause and practice

Rehearse your own reframe with Sophia

Take the tell you named in step 4 and rehearse saying the ownership version out loud before the real conversation happens. Not required to continue.

Practice with Sophia